Three Tremendous Things to Stop Doing Now!
Thursdays are all about tremendous steps or decisions one can make to change the course of their lives. Sometimes, the biggest difference is seen from the start of the slightest change. Here are three tremendous decisions you can make to stop doing in order to see big results.
Ignoring the root
As a youth pastor, I was usually able to learn a great deal about a student not by how they behaved or what persona they were wearing at the time ( I'd watch teens shift from persona to persona quite often) but by asking a few foundational questions of their life thus far. Learning about a father who ignored them. The divorce that happened at five years old, or the pressure from home gave me great insight to the root of what was challenging their faith growth or willingness to trust God more. However, not many were aware emotionally of how this was a cause for what they were either compensating for or complimenting in their outlook.
It seems that adults are very similar in that they either are vastly aware that there is a root to an issue, or they have no clue. What one can do today is be brave enough to look at the root of what perhaps has given you the frame or lens to look at life. Was it a traumatic event? A emotional setback? Is it unresolved fear or an unwillingness to bring God into the conversation? Perhaps there is a distortion of reality that needs the untwisting of Jesus' teachings or Paul's instructions.
It's a huge step of faith to stop ignoring the root of your moodiness, your depression, your fearfulness and to start addressing it in healthy ways to overcome what is stifling your growth and potential.
Many times we are responsible for outcomes that where out of our poor decisions or we made a mistake. My wife recently helped me see the difference between the two and it was very helpful for giving myself the grace that I often don't give. Let me remind you of a fundamental point in the future, you will make a mistake. It is bound to happen and you are not alone in this arena. Stop blaming yourself for your humanity and embrace the fact that you are a work in progress. Even better, admit that you are in progress that God is working in. When we allow ourselves to be human with all the flaws and character marks, we demonstrate more fully of our dependency and need to give God glory for the humility we can show to others.
Blaming others is one of the quickest ways to not deal with the issues in your life. "Did I offend you? Well you shouldn't be so sensitive to my words!" When we do this it shifts responsibility from what your actions led to or what needs to be dealt with in your circle of influence. I would much rather be in partnership with someone who makes mistakes and is a work in progress willing to accept the outcomes of their decisions than with someone who won't be brave enough to deal with them.
When this accountability doesn't exist in your relationships, it leaves a sticky film of mistrust and shallowness because you can't be relied on to deal with both the charming and the challenging events in life. Stop blaming others, take it on the chin and learn from the thrilling experience of being a real person who is willing to be trusted to make better decisions after accountability is offered. The hope is people will trust you more with your honesty. The lie is no one will accept you for your imperfection.
I pray you are encouraged to take the tremendous steps to STOP doing these three habits in your relationships. That you are willing to go to the voice of Truth and find all you need to harvest the will, the outlook, and the grace needed to make brave steps forward in your life.
Isaiah 51:7-8 (NIV)7 “Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults. 8 For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations.”
I leave you with Isaiah 51 as a reminder that what lasts through all we strive for and do is the righteousness from heaven that we can know and take to heart as reason to hear what is good and what produces a life of salvation for today.
Be tremendous today!